Voices

This morning I walked outside and the earth around me was quietly being blanketed in snow. Every turn in the weather brings another wave of emotional detachment as I experience another Alaskan “last”: last first snowfall, last daylight savings, last holiday season, last day at -10 degrees (one would hope). My thoughts and conversations are consumed with the little details of this upcoming transition as it draws closer. In my excitement, I’ve picked the brains of a lot of people who have been to the city I’m headed to, currently live there, have family or friends there, grew up there, etc..

Over the past year, I began to focus heavily on emotional & mental self-care. A major life change generated the need for me to practice regulating my internal & external dialogue. This involved creating positive dialogue for myself that affirmed my belonging and capabilities in a position where people constantly questioned why I was even considered for this role.

I’ve found that monitoring my dialogue has become an absolute necessity in this position as well as in this upcoming transition. After hearing all the voices telling me what to expect, what I most likely won’t get due to not being qualified or educated enough, and what major struggles I’ll encounter, I left little room for my own voice, or, more importantly, for God’s voice to remind me of what actually qualifies me.

There can only be so many voices that we internalize, and I’ve found that some of my favorite voices, coated in the disguise of caution and being realistic have to be disregarded.

Eliminating the voices of others has been no easy task for me. It sometimes involves hearing the advice of someone we love & who we know means well, and deciding that their words are, in fact, harmful to our internal dialogue and will have to carry little to no weight. I am a pretty agreeable introvert who picks few people to confide in and I really love my people, but I love my own peace of mind more.

God places little reminders in my life, as He does in all of our lives, of what happens when we eliminate the voices & opinions of others (which tend to be confusing anyway) and decide that our dialogue will revolve around His word. His word is always affirming- it always encourages, it always reminds us that we belong, it always reminds us that we are qualified.