No Fear in Love

Tonight, I'm reminded of being twelve years old, having just moved into what would be my home for years. At night, I would lie in bed, staring out of my bedroom window, as I often do today, just daydreaming. At that age, I was so full of wonder and compassion, but I was also a little shy. 

As I grew older, that shyness turned into full-blown fear that would wage an incredible war against my soul. Fear that would control my every decision. Fear that would cripple me and minimize my dreams and desires. Fear that would force me to hold on to the very secrets that made me sick. 

My fear convinced me that it was much bigger than the amazing things God had planned for my life. 

Fear is a liar. It gives you the sense that you're in danger, that your very being will be destroyed if you dare to step outside of what makes you comfortable. The irony lies in the fact that giving in to your fear is what really destroys you. Each time we allow fear to call the shots, it grows in our lives. With each moment we spend in disobedience to what God has asked us to do because we're afraid, we create an altar for fear in our hearts. Fear has become our god, because it has the final say in our lives.

Fear is a terrible god. With fear as the lord of your life, you can never really trust, and you can never experience real love. 

What's amazing about God, however, is that He embodies perfect love. He is love. Love is defined by Him and the ultimate sacrifice that He made for us. When we allow Him into our hearts, the first thing He does is establish His love for us. He fills us with it, knowing that it will in turn heal us and make us whole. And as His love is slowly revealed to us, as it changes us from the inside out, as it compels us to trust Him with our lives- fear diminishes. 

God's perfect love casts out fear. His love wins. It is bigger and stronger than the spirit of fear or anything else that tries to control our lives. 

“There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror!”

1 John 4:18a AMP

the Ultimate Connection

This weekend has been full of me texting people like crazy, making plans, then watching them fall through. It sucked. All my life I’ve struggled with the sometimes- gift- sometimes- flaw of wanting a true, meaningful connection with everyone in my life. This is how my Creator wired me. My heart is most full when I’ve gotten off the phone with my best friend for 3+ hours talking about everything under the sun. Or when I meet with my small group and we’re totally connecting with whatever we’re studying and with each other. Or when I have dinner with a woman so full of wisdom and I get to bare my soul to her and she just pours into me. My most fulfilling moments involve other people. It took me almost 21 years to stop (unsuccessfully) forcing myself to live autonomously, and realize that it was 100% part of God’s will for me to be part of a crowd. His kingdom.

Coming into this knowledge has been amazing for me. I can be myself in Christ and I honestly can’t begin to tell you how incredibly freeing and fulfilling that is.

But then I have weekends like the one I just experienced and I’m left feeling so empty. I’ve put all this energy and effort into regrouping after a stressful work week with the people that I love and care about the most. Yet, I feel like I’ve gotten very little in return. Life happens. Plans are cancelled sometimes for one reason or another. But when cancelled plans or unanswered text messages leave me feeling like I’ve missed out on something vital to my happiness, there is actually a much bigger- much deeper connection that I’m craving.

One of my favorite quotes says, “Whenever I’m feeling lonely, I know that it is God calling me to fellowship with Him.” This quote proves to be so incredibly true. There is a longing that I walk around with to belong. To be intimate. To really connect. Weekends like this one serve as reminders that I can only satisfy that longing with fellowship with the One who created me. Intimacy with God brings the satisfaction of having someone show you that time spent with you is all they ever want. Time spent with you is literally something that God wants all day, every single day. He constantly desires for you to ask Him for His input, He’s constantly with you, He’s constantly speaking to you.

This kind of relationship with any human being would be draining and unhealthy. But what’s amazing is that every single encounter that you have with the Holy Spirit builds you up. It leaves you with more joy, more security, more peace, more strength. It leaves you with the most fulfilling connection you will ever experience.